The successful and free: how to be a loner

Many people think that "loner" and "lonely" - is synonymous. But is it really?

Yes, at times it may be true - who of us from time to time is not sobbing into a pillow at the thought that He only perhaps have already came - and gone?

Smug news from happily married friends, too, can be a source of stress and self-doubt. But in both cases it is important to remember that:

1. Your friends will show the public only public mask - that is the most positive aspects of their relationship.
2. It does not matter what they say about the inextinguishable sex: they still have to watch him floss, and maybe even let gases continuously.
3. Life in a pair - not vaccinated against loneliness: remember, you were just lonely  with a former boyfriend?
4. Feelings - a passing thing. Sometimes I also think that tomorrow morning, wake up a little kitten would be great, but it passes.

Five rules of success

• Support other women, regardless of the status of your relationship

Women are the toughest critics of other women. Do you condemn, in silence, style of your colleagues, curve a sly lips over her choice of food, not to mention a boyfriend? Stop doing it, damn it! Nobody makes it no better, least of all - your self-esteem: so if you're secretly judging others, you begin to suspect paranoid that they condemn you, too. So, with regard to women in your life - be a good friend when they heartbroken, and be able to genuinely rejoice when they meet the beautiful people.Critic aside: in general, when we criticize each other, we are projecting onto others our own insecurities. The next time you catch yourself on this, pause and think for a moment do you judge by yourself? Would you be angry  if someone told you the same thing? That's where the food for thought is ...

• Do not let the bastards upset yourself

Unfortunately, it's a fact of life that you can not change: people are tactless and pry into other people's business. Modern alone people face a lot more to learn how to behave in such interactions than willing to make them disappear. From time to time some idiot friendly will ask you when you think "to settle down." Do not take this as an excuse to hide in the closet or roll up the scandal. You're too good for that.

Battle cry of Singles - Independence: romantic,
 intellectual, financial, dressing room

• Conduct business and have an active life

Have a lot of cases. Meet people. Engage in fun, exciting activities. Love your work. Never puncture a hole in your life in the form of the male silhouette, then to spend the time, eagerly peering into it. To all those for whom you need to worry, do not care, with how many people you show up in public. If you are unable to go to the toilet without being accompanied by a squadron of support , guarding your every move, now is the time to break the habit . Go to the movies, be engaged in some activity, dine out at home ... alone. Go on vacation - solo. If you ever thought deep down that no one gets involved in a relationship (or supports) simply because they can not tolerate being alone (or, even worse, you're accused of this) - then this is especially important.

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• Be independent, both emotionally and financially

There is a stereotype that does not want to die - stereotype hunter for money. So, even though the image accompanying this sentence is laughable (Gucci, bling, five-inch heels, a tan from the "Tango"), the reality is much more pervasive and subtle. Hoping to go to half-time, when zavedesh family? Uh ... but you can ask who will pay for it? You think you're supposed to equal share in the ownership of any future home, even if your husband earns more? Again, think again about the subtext: equality otnosheniy.To, you're a woman - not a good reason to expect that other people will provide you. If someone offers to help - accept it with gratitude. But do not treat her for granted, laid you on the right. It's great to feel loved and adored. Much less cool - to create the impression ungrateful when people really did love you and adore.

Emotional independence is running on the same level. Any of this shit, "you  complete me" - what's that? Many women seem to consider perfectly acceptable to postpone their own happiness to the moment when we'll see the Prince Charming (and then fall into a stupor when he looks around, assess opportunities and dumps in an unknown direction.) Well, what do you want! Did you experience that you could drive to the man who would take you by the hand and began to look into the eyes and sincerely-confidential report that the meeting with you - the happiness that he had always dreamed of? No, damn it! This is a one-way ticket to the city Stalkervill.

• Be honest

Ability, which is quite a lot of women do well - is the suppression of their feelings in order to give pleasure to other people. It is not only harmful - it is irritating. You may think that you are calm, unruffled and control yourself - when, to be honest, you act awkward and insincere. So it is critically important to be as honest as you can. But not to the point, you know, when it becomes rudeness. Honestly determine what you feel, and said aloud boundaries of behavior that you expecte from others, but do not tell that person all through  is bad and wrong.

"Guide to Men" Belle de Jour (c)